hippie v gutterpunk: r

so i play this game with myself and, occasionally, lucky friends. it's called who would you root for in a fight and the rules are simple: who would you root for in a fight (i said they were simple). for example, say you are walking down division and you stumble upon a crowd gathered around a right wing AM radio hot talk faggot hating republican engaged in fisticuffs with a fixed gear riding hipster with tight pegged pants and huge white basketball shoes listening to, as far as i can tell, vampire weekend on his i-pod. deep down in your gut, who would you want to see come out on top?
in every scenario involving a hippie i can honestly say that i root against the hippie. except for one: when that hippie is pitted against a gutterpunk. the thing is, for all of their ineffectual talk of peace and love (and, for the sake of full disclosure, their's is not a far cry from my ethos of just be cool. or don't be a dick) hippies, by their nature, stay out of your face. a curt "yeah, whatever hippie" is all you need to dispose of them. gutterpunks, however, are hippies with bad attitudes. attitudes they think are revolutionary and need to be shoved down your throat. i wish a simple "get a job" would suffice when a gutterpunk, in a misconception of originality, asks for change for a beer. good one, gutterpunk. the thing is, the gutterpunk doesn't work for one of two reaons: a) because he/she can't get hired by the square, non-conformist system we live in or b) because the gutterpunk wants no part of the square, non-conformist system we live in. the truth is, gutterpunk, neither argument holds sway because the system does not give a shit whether or not you participate. your cry of "fuck you" is met with a "whatever, gutterpunk." and i can't say, on this one, i don't agree with the system. because i know where you live. and it's your parent's house. i know for all of your telegraph avenue begging there's a box of mac 'n cheese with your name on it just up the street. so go home gutterpunk. take your dirty fingernails and sub-humans patch and hit the road. because, if there's a day where i am fortunate enough to come across a hippie and you in a battle royale i will jump right in and beat you over the head with a sandal. hippie, i have your back. but just this one time.